I just feel that is finally time to leave you. It’s
finally time to let you go. And you can be really sure that if I’m saying that
it’s because I love you. And when I say that I love you, I really mean that, because
I’m the person that can love you in the good moments but still love you in the bad
ones. I’m not really sure of what the words “Give up” really mean. Does
a person give up when let everything go, or does a person give up when is
tired? I’m not even really sure what happened to me to say for the first time
those words, I just think that it was too much for me. It was too much for a
small and weak person like me, fight again such a strong and difficult person
like you. It was too much doing everything I could and nothing seems to be the
right thing. And it was too much always try to be the person that you want and
feel like in every step true this way I was becoming more and more small and
invisible to your eyes.
The truth is that in every hour, in every
minute I just felt like we were not as close as we used to be. We were not the people we used to be with each other. Not anymore. And because I love you, and
because I do care about you I can’t just arrest you forever. I can’t even wait,
or stay or fight forever. Te truth is that I love you but nobody can just
handle all of this forever.
I
was feeling all my body, all my soul and every bit of my mind more tired in
every second. I just couldn't handle it anymore. It was too much, it’s been too
much lately. I think you never realized how much you matter and how much I
care. And I also think that you never realized how much you can hurt me.
Because it’s like you had all control about the way I feel or something. Because no
one can make me feel like you do. No one. You’re the one and only. And I think it was just too much responsibility for you to have that power, because in the
same way I couldn't handle this fight you couldn't handle that. You had had me
almost in your hands. And I know is sad to said that, but is the really truth
and I can’t hide the truth anymore.
I couldn't just let you do whatever you want to
do with my feeling and hurt me the way you were doing. And believe me I was such a strong person
during this time. The truth is that I really was, because I could handle this
for so long… You can think that is easy to me. That is easy to “Give up”. But
it isn't. I can prove you that it isn't. Because it’s so difficult end every
feeling that my mind starts about you, is difficult in the little things like
hearing your name or answer to every question they made about you. And it’s
gonna be even more difficult every time I see you, and every time you speak to me.
I’m trying to close every part of you, every little thing in a box and just put
it on the most secret corner of my mind, I really am, but it hurts. It hurts
almost like those times when you hurt me. Why this has to be this difficult?
I mean I stop fighting against you to start fighting against myself, when I
just wanted to stop fighting at all. I don’t wanna fight anymore, I don’t wanna
fight against nothing because I’m tired and I feel like I’m fragile like a
little flower. I really just want someone to protect me because in this moment
I feel like I just can’t protect myself from everything. And I feel so alone,
even when I’m crowded with people that actually care about me. Because I need
someone to make me feel strong and loved again. I need someone that can make me
feel again. Someone that make me feel like me. Because now, what I fee is that
my soul was tied to you, and now is completely lost and alone. And my soul just
can’t live like this. My soul is nothing without a soul mate. My one and only
soul mate.
